Posting references

[Scytale]

I've been in this situation a few times now. I get the basic system and how it works, you conclude a good trade, good reference, your stuff wasn't packed nicely or something went wrong, neutral ref, someone scammed you, negative.

What if say you want to trade with a guy, he's great, you work everything out and in the last moment, something goes wrong. He can't find an arm, cards for WM, whatever and that thing means so much to you you have to cancel the trade. Most people would call it a backout but I sometimes honestly feel (felt) the guy on the other end is doing his best to set things straight, find that missing arm or whatever. Would it be ok to give such a person positive ref even though the trade didn't actually happen?

Here's another wierd situation I was in some time ago. Someone sent me some minis and they failed to arrive for several weeks. I think it was about 2 months. Since I payed in advance, I was worried and the other party was so kind to refund me my cash back. A few more weeks later and he got his package back, battered as if it'd seen a few world wars with out customs stamp on it. I was never notified it arrived. The trade again never happened, but I was so..I suppose touched is too emotional a term but I can find no better that I left the guy positive ref and explained why. He refunded my cash, taking my word for it (and mind you, my rating ain't sky high) even though he had absolutely no guarantees I didn't simply get the minis and said I didn't.

So that's my question. Can you give someone positive ref because he's bending over backwards over a trade even though it doesn't actually happen?

[Ironhide]

In essence, the trade ref system is there for you to describe you trade experience (or lack thereof). So even if the trade falls through due to no faut on either party, and no items are exchanged, but you had a good experience; you can leave a positive ref. Mind you, however, the other trader doesn't have to reciprocate that action.

Also, you have no physical proof but the other traders word about what happened, so you may be pumping up another trader's refs when he/she may have been pulling your chain about what happened.

I prefer to deal in absolutes on a trade. I get my part, they get their part, and everyone's happy; then a good ref is left. If the trade goes south, but works out in the end with both parties somewhat satisfied; I usually won't leave a ref. I will rarely leave a bad ref or a neutral ref. However, if I decide to not leave a ref, I will PM my trade partner and tell him why. I don't like to leave my trade partners hanging on whether or not I'm going to leave a ref.

[JohnHwangBT]

If nothing changed hands, I wouldn't count it as a trade. The last thing we need is references for people having good e-mail exchanges.

If you guys work out a partial trade, then leave references for it.

[Ironhide]

Let me clarify. As one of my colleagues explained to me, if nothing is exchanged (no packages sent), then no ref can be posted. However, if items are exchanged, but then sent back to their original owners amicably; then technically a trade has a occurred and you can leave a ref.