Need Advice on a potential backout

[reegsk]

Alright, so this has been going on for about two months, and I'm getting tired of it. Back in April, I started working out a trade with a trader that had a rather decent feedback rating (50+), a goodly number of posts and he's been a member of the forums for some time now. Only feedback that stood out was a neutral, but that was a while ago. Anyway, we worked out a trade for some dwarfs and squig hoppers for some of his marine stuff. We were almost solid on the deal and suddenly I stopped hearing from him. So I sent him a "We good on this deal?" message to no answer. Then a "I'm guessing since it's been a while, the trade's off" message and deleted the posts, figuring it was over. Well, he sent me a message thanking me for reminding him of the trade we were working on, and claimed that work has been busy. So we finalize the deal, and I send him my address. That was May 22nd. Now the thing that throws me a bit is that I send him a "I'm giving you one week before this trade's dead" message on Friday. Should I even wait until then? And also, considering that I no longer have the earlier message from when we first worked things out, but I do have the messages in which we agreed to a trade, is that enough for a backout?

[Ironhide]

Who was suppose to send first?

[reegsk]

He has the higher rating, but agreed to ship first given difficulties on his end with communication and his schedule.

[JohnHwangBT]

It's been 2 months?

I'd call it dead and move on.

Clearly, it's not important enough to him to execute on.

If you're sufficiently annoyed, you can Neg him, but I'd probably let it drop, as you already deleted the PMs.

[Ironhide]

If the last few PMs sufficiently outline the trade (i.e. YOU: My X for your Y, deal? HIM: Deal) then you should have the basis for a backout report.

[kturock]

If he originally sent you a PM saying, "OK Deal. The minis will be shipped on[blank]", then I'd call it a back-out.

If he didn't, which is what I'm gathering, since you said "We were almost solid on the deal and suddenly I stopped hearing from him. "; I'd say you never really had a deal.

IF he sends you a PM saying that it's in the mail, and then it doesn't show up I'd leave a back-out on him. If not, then he just wasn't that interested, to work around RL. Call it a day and move on.

[reegsk]

Back in April, we almost had a deal, then he dropped off the face of the earth. I sent him a message in May where we reopened negotiations. He sent me pictures of the models in question, I did a (as Ironhide said) "My X for Your Y" summary, he responded with "Give me your address and I'll send out the stuff." So we had a deal. That was the 22nd of May. I sent him a message last Friday asking if the models had been shipped, if he's just been busy or if he doesn't want to go through with the trade any more. I told him he would have until Friday, but now I have someone else who knows I have said models and is interested in them, so I want to resolve this, one way or the other. He did log in on Friday and received my PM, but didn't respond to it. I just didn't know if, lacking his side of the earlier messages (I still have the messages I sent to him), but still having the exchange of "Okay, we've got a deal", whether that was enough for a backout. I am pretty upset about this. I was ready to write it off and forget about it two months ago, but then he reopened the lines of communication and got my hopes up again. Now...nothing in three weeks.

[kturock]

Well, I'd send him one last PM, "You have until Monday night to PM me the shipping detail's [basiclly a d/c] or the deal's off."

If you don't hear anything come Monday, start the deal with the 2nd trader.

[MagickalMemories]

You've been very patient. I commend you for that.
I, too, suggest one final email.
You don't have to give him the opportunity to ship, though. If you prefer, ASK if he's shipped and notify him that, if he hasn't, the deal's off because you have someone else interested.

I'm guilty of this to a degree... and I admit my fault. Granted, though, I never have to be reminded more than once.
I get so busy keeping up with work, home, Admin stuff here and... other stuff... that trades often "slip past me." I get between 5 and 20 (yes 20) PM's a day, with about 12 being average. I only have SO much room in my brain and only SO many "sub folders" available in my PM box. LOL
When I get reminder PM's, I'm NEVER offended and, quite often, feel sheepish about having lost track.
Something like this COULD be what's going on with the guy. Another reminder would probably NOT be seen unfavorably by the recipient.
If he's a decent guy, he'll even understand the "It's off if you haven't already shipped" PM.


Eric